Update: After some heavy lifting at the old gym, I actually left Vipps and started on a Sabbatical. See Goodbye Vipps! for details (LinkedIn post). I’m also open for new opportunities.
Timeline: From backend to Android -> Dev plan 2021-2023 -> Nailing it and getting promoted! -> Back to the old gym! -> Sabbatical! -> My next adventure? Link to heading
It’s official! I’m transitioning back from my pilgrimage as an Android developer, going back to my backend roots. Ah, the glorious smell of rusty metal, engine oil and buzzing CRT monitors running nothing but vim. The bonus is I still get to do Android! More importantly, though, I’m back to working 80%. Sweet, glorious Jesus, YES! And there’s actually deeper stuff going on beneath the surface as well. Paradigm shift: √
Context switching, begone Link to heading
Speaking of Jesus, he said that he came that we would have life abundantly (John 10, 10). I want that, for real, in every possible way. And for the time being, A) working full weeks, and B) being at the beck and call of numerous different teams doing this and that just isn’t sustainable. Turns out I’m not quite wired to cope with all that. Don’t get me wrong: I can “pull it off”, I can be efficient, ruthless and just Get Stuff Done™. If I turn my notch to “overdrive” I can squeeze through all my tasks and obligations (and then some!) with time to spare. But I end up feeling “[…]thin, like butter scraped over too much bread,” as Bilbo Baggins aptly put it. To be clear: Android isn’t what’s pulling me down, the way I’ve been working is. And I want it to stop.
You used to be like supernatural but the worse thing happen that can happen to any fighter; you got civilized! […] Let’s get outta here, back to the old gym! (Mickey to Rocky, Rocky III)
Civilized in 2024, I propose, isn’t laziness or reluctance to commit or not trying hard enough. Rather, it often looks like working at least full time, outsourcing your parenting and dividing your precious time on chasing the wind - all to win treasure, while not really treasuring anything. Not quite present neither here nor there, least of all to what really matters. Being connected in all the wrong ways, and few of the right ones. I’m not even going to mention smart phone addiction and all its vicious friends (I miss my Lightphone!). So I’ve decided not to be civilized, because quite frankly I can’t. Not while raising three giant killers, and not while being present with my wife, those important to me and my surroundings in general. Not while following a man, The Man, whose walking pace is often provocatively slow. There are far too many moving parts, and too much divided attention. To hell with the hustle: I need time and space for my soul to breathe and my heart to slow down, and I’ve learned that both how much I work and how I work matter in this regard. If civilized means giving up on that “life abundantly”, then I’m officially out.
Getting my life back Link to heading
So I’m ruthlessly eliminating things that sabotage the abundant life I was given, and when dealing with how I work it looks like this: I’m going to limit myself to one team, and one team only. (For those interested, it’s the Benefits team, the one’s responsible for that new tab we’re rolling out in the Vipps app these days. Exciting!) And I’m going to work less, at least for a while. Hopefully I can learn how to slow down a bit as well, watching the scenery and enjoying the process, being mindful of who I’m becoming (more than how much I can get done!), and who I’m working with. The extra day off per week is to make sure I don’t get lost; a day without work, Slack, email, coding or any of that. As a radical means to stay healthy, happy and to enjoy life abundantly, and as a safe-guard against slipping into Civilized. Having some margin in my life is a good thing, if ever there was one, so I want to be intentional about it.
Development plan, vol. 2? Link to heading
I’ve decided that it’s more important to me who I’m becoming than how much I can get done. As offensive as that may sound to some in this day and age, I’m sticking to it. This season is more about finding life in healthy, sustainable rhythms than about checking off TODOs and reaching pre-determined goals. I firmly believe that a healthy and happy developer is the most efficient one, and the one who learns fastest and creates most value for his company. But even if I’m proven wrong, there are certain things I just won’t compromise. Like Life, time, peace of mind, sleep, and margin. Like Jesus, more than anything. I think sometimes slowing down is the most aggressive thing you can do. Back to the old gym. Let’s go!
(For the record, though, I’m not wrong.)
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. – Jesus (John 14: 27, emphasis added)
Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. – King Solomon (Proverbs 4: 23, emphasis added)